"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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