I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
