After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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