So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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