He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
