why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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