I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
not ubering you a puppy
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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