I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
