God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
