She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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