As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
