Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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