Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
