party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
