She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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