i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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