The maid of honor just puked.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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