Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
