I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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