OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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