You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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