i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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