So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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