I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
