Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
