I don't think brook has ever known best
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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