Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
