I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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