You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
