Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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