You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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