Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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