K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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