I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
