Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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