The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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