Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?

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(818): Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume? http://tfl.nu/76jw

Replies (18) Good night (3676) Bad night (837)
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(702): View more from Nevada

if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases

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(702): if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases http://tfl.nu/a7z7

Replies (13) Good night (680) Bad night (2832)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!

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(410): Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA! http://tfl.nu/7pku

Replies (348) Good night (44263) Bad night (4766)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.

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(484): In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas. http://tfl.nu/7vr2

Replies (11) Good night (3278) Bad night (1275)
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(205): View more from Alabama

I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over

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(205): I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over http://tfl.nu/18ji

Replies (22) Good night (1082) Bad night (4353)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.

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(318): the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese. http://tfl.nu/xs1m

Replies (7) Good night (3426) Bad night (849)
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(925): View more from California

I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't

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(925): I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't http://tfl.nu/i8hu

Replies (29) Good night (6018) Bad night (1164)
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(317): View more from Indiana

She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean

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(317): She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean http://tfl.nu/wqi7

Replies (11) Good night (808) Bad night (4226)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?

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(860): Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night? http://tfl.nu/99ew

Replies (4) Good night (648) Bad night (1348)
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(213): View more from California

Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??

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(213): Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast?? http://tfl.nu/wkuh

Replies (24) Good night (3571) Bad night (1131)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?

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(484): In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic? http://tfl.nu/vp9h

Replies (3) Good night (1718) Bad night (403)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?

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(225): Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me? http://tfl.nu/lu4d

Replies (13) Good night (1171) Bad night (492)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake

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(815): I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake http://tfl.nu/t4t1

Replies (4) Good night (993) Bad night (289)
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(330): View more from Ohio

i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.

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(330): i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame. http://tfl.nu/xq0z

Replies (0) Good night (668) Bad night (238)
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(207): View more from Maine

I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.

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(207): I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks. http://tfl.nu/yh0t

Replies (3) Good night (616) Bad night (159)

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