the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
