Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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