Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?

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  (716): do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car? http://tfl.nu/kx3d
  Replies (10) Good night (3130) Bad night (592)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.

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  (301): Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward. http://tfl.nu/yset
  Replies (16) Good night (4779) Bad night (1386)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  protesters in toronto definately have the best pot

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  (703): protesters in toronto definately have the best pot http://tfl.nu/s38f
  Replies (17) Good night (4634) Bad night (1087)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"

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  (817): I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!" http://tfl.nu/bikn
  Replies (2) Good night (3429) Bad night (801)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer

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  (+44): We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer http://tfl.nu/3muy
  Replies (6) Good night (1203) Bad night (549)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.

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  (218): It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter. http://tfl.nu/rje4
  Replies (20) Good night (798) Bad night (3810)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.

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  (580): He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages. http://tfl.nu/hdcq
  Replies (4) Good night (1647) Bad night (750)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night

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  (503): It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night http://tfl.nu/ctpp
  Replies (12) Good night (540) Bad night (3190)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.

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  (740): Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome. http://tfl.nu/z77p
  Replies (3) Good night (1390) Bad night (485)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.

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  (250): My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single. http://tfl.nu/erf4
  Replies (3) Good night (1369) Bad night (410)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...

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  (571): She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance... http://tfl.nu/5je2
  Replies (3) Good night (742) Bad night (851)
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  (914): View more from New York

  If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.

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  (914): If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick. http://tfl.nu/06qn
  Replies (6) Good night (1404) Bad night (511)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.

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  (309): Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks. http://tfl.nu/tka4
  Replies (11) Good night (679) Bad night (855)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday

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  (704): Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday http://tfl.nu/7l8d
  Replies (4) Good night (377) Bad night (227)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me

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  (317): Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me http://tfl.nu/2azp
  Replies (1) Good night (442) Bad night (239)

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