Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine http://tfl.nu/uuy6
  Replies (2) Good night (1138) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now? http://tfl.nu/j4yz
  Replies (35) Good night (1332) Bad night (1635)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  And that worked?

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night. (1-919): And that worked? (919): 9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards. http://tfl.nu/moso
  Replies (70) Good night (13603) Bad night (1527)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome. http://tfl.nu/crh1
  Replies (39) Good night (1088) Bad night (5046)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again. http://tfl.nu/jfz7
  Replies (6) Good night (768) Bad night (3515)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator http://tfl.nu/bsby
  Replies (21) Good night (7252) Bad night (1589)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later? http://tfl.nu/a1oo
  Replies (18) Good night (6210) Bad night (1017)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro. http://tfl.nu/xp1k
  Replies (4) Good night (1443) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk. http://tfl.nu/v5sh
  Replies (4) Good night (792) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen http://tfl.nu/up6u
  Replies (3) Good night (898) Bad night (1404)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone http://tfl.nu/xbvo
  Replies (1) Good night (609) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (772): Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with. http://tfl.nu/bsvi
  Replies (14) Good night (814) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can. http://tfl.nu/1yox
  Replies (4) Good night (584) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob. http://tfl.nu/2wm2
  Replies (2) Good night (329) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So how did it go?

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): So how did it go? (508): I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake. http://tfl.nu/kgbf
  Replies (2) Good night (371) Bad night (457)

Randomize