God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
