Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
do nipples grow back?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
