nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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