Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
