a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just had sex on a roof
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
