Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
