Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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