me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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