I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
