This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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