Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
