Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Two words: blizzard sex
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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