i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
