drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
