38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
