i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize