forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
