dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
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hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
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lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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