There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
