Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
