I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
