I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
