she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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