Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
