Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
