i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
