I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
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So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
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got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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