Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
two words...techno handjob
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
