i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
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I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
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You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize