I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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