But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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