Fine. I'll sleep in my office
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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