If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
