I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
