Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize